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Adoption Books

 Books about Adoption

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See also: Talking to kids about adoption
International Adoption

Parenting the Hurt Child : Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow
by Gregory Keck, Regina M. Kupecky

A Book for Everyone
Reviewer: Amy Hilliard (Glen Allen, VA United States)

This is a very good book for both parents and teachers. It is also useful for adults relating to children who both are and are not "hurt." This book can be read as a preventive measure, as well as a book to turn to when nothing seems to get through to a child.
I tutor at a learning center, and work with children from all types of backgrounds and with all kinds of learning and behavior problems. This book has been very helpful to me. I feel I have successfully applied the techniques and suggestions in Chapter 4, and hopefully have avoided the pitfalls listed in Chapter 3. Chapter 5 has specific activities parents can do to positively affect their interactions with their child. Some activities can be incorporated in a teacher/tutor and child interaction, but they are more for parental interactions. Chapter 6 deals with education and is more for both parents and teachers. At the end of the book the authors present letters told from the viewpoint of both parents and children. If you want to learn about relevant research, Chapter 12, "the Author's Smorgasbord," gives brief descriptions of articles about hurt children. Also, the section "Related Readings" presents a reference list of useful articles. All of the researchers on this list are pioneers in early development and/or very well known for the quality of their research.

What I especially like about this book is that it does not make the parent feel guilty for the current state of their relationship with their child. Those feelings of guilt can hamper the positive growth of the interaction between parent and child. If you are even contemplating this book, or one like it, that says a lot. If you are really in a bind, go straight to Chapter 7 "Surviving When It Feels Like Nothing Works." Good luck and don't give up!

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Can This Child Be Saved? Solutions For Adoptive and Foster Families
by Foster W. Cline (M.D.), Cathy Helding

A Real eye-opener
Reviewer: A reader

   For anyone thinking about adopting an older child, this book is a must read but put it LAST on your list. If I had read it first, I probably would have dropped the idea altogether. It is full of frightening examples of how adopting an older child can lead you and your family down a path to ruin. It does give techniques to deal with and hopefully change some of the disturbing behaviors you may encounter. Most important, it tells you what issues a child has that may lead him to these behaviors.
   It will arm you with knowledge needed so when you're given a referral, you'll have a much better chance of choosing a child who will grow and thrive in your family instead of tear it apart. There are so many kids waiting for adoption that CANNOT be saved no matter how you try. You owe it to yourself and your family to read this book. It can help you make the right choice that could literally save your lives.

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Raising Adopted Children, Revised Edition:
Practical Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent

by Lois Ruskai Melina

4 out of 5 starsExcellent Book!
Reviewer: A reader from CT 

  This book was part of our required reading for our home study. After reading some of the poor reviews I wasn't looking forward to reading it. Once I started reading it I couldn't believe how much information was is in this book. This book can certainly help you decide which adoption route is for you. It explains the adopted child's emotions from infant to teen and how to handle them. It explains the different issues you may be faced with in domestic, international, infant, older child, inter-racial, and special needs adoptions. Helpful hints regarding how different countries may cared for your child which may explain why what you're doing isn't working. How long it may take for an infant to adjust to your time zone. It even tells you how to respond to those rude or nosy questions/comments from your friends, family, co-workers, and strangers! This is a great book to read no matter where you are in the adoption process from just thinking about it to completed it!

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Attaching in Adoption:
Practical Tools for Today's Parents

Attaching in Adoption
Reviewer: Jackie L. from UK

   If you only plan to read one book about adoption, make it this one! It covers pretty much everything you would need to know about the emotional impact of adoption, from infancy to adulthood. It is an intense book, both in terms of its emotional content (some of the case studies are heart-wrenching) and its depth of information. The author really knows her stuff, both from extensive reading of the research literature and from many years of personal experience as a therapist. She covers the various stages of attachment, what kids need to attach well, what happens when the process goes wrong, and what to do to help kids make healthy attachments to their new families. Even if you are adopting an infant and don't expect any problems, this book will help you make the attachment process as smooth as possible. There is also extensive discussion of the issues adoptive kids experience later on, such as the search for identity, fantasies about who their birth parents really were and whether they will be reunited, grief over losing parents, etc. It is ultimately a very positive book, demonstrating that even seriously damaged kids can work through their issues and become happy, well-adjusted adults, and anyone who had a rocky relationship with their own parents will probably find some surprising insights here -- poor attachment can happen in any family. Required reading!

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Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
by Sherrie Eldridge

5 out of 5 starsEnlightened and Armed for Life!
Reviewer: Lynn Udrasols from USA

  Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew has given me, a middle-aged adoptee, much information relative to my life. At times while reading, I felt like someone was looking in my window and writing specifically about me. In some cases it gave me words to describe remote feelings. In other instances it went ahead with something I had already begun to understand and led me to my own personal conclusion. It identified my fears and worries and linked them to the specific cause. The book helped me to draw conclusions to thoughts and feelings I felt no one understood. I now have an appreciation for some of the attachments I've made that even I thought were strange; a comprehension that my parents were not equipped to handle and did not even know I had abandonment issues; I know that my birth parents put a baby up for adoption, not me; and I know that my extreme fear of rejection that still pops up from time to time is logical and can be handled. I am so grateful that I received this book as a gift and highly recommend it to anyone who is contemplating adoption or to adoptees. It is very easy to read and understand. I read it cover to cover in two sittings and then went back to take my time and think as I read. A great book. 

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Real Parents, Real Children;
Parenting the Adopted Child: Parenting the Adopted Child

by Holly Van Gulden, Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb

4 out of 5 starsReal Authors with Real Great Advice!
Reviewer: A reader from MN, USA

  Real Parents, Real Children has been one of the most helpful books I have read on adoption, and as an adoption social worker - I have read quite a few! What I enjoyed most about this book was the in-depth look Holly Van Gulden and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb took at each developmental stage in a child's life. After learning what all children go through at a particular stage, Van Gulden and Bartels-Rabb then discuss issues that may arise in each stage as related to adoption. This book is a great resource for adoptive parents to determine if their child's behavior is due to their developmental stage or and adoption issue that needs to be resolved. Van Gulden and Bartels-Rabb do not end there! They go on to give practical advice on how to help your child through a tough issue. I appreciate this books honest and professional flavor. I recommend this book to all adoptive parents as a resource that can be used for many years. The earlier adoption related issues can be discovered and worked through, the better for the child and the family. Two other books I highly recommend are "Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew" and "Making Sense of Adoption"

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The largest adoption site on the internet
Comprehensive Introduction for those looking for adoption information.
Good things to keep in mind when going through the adoption process.
Provides unbiased information and resources for
all with an interest in or connection to adoption and foster care, whether
in the family setting or from an academic or professional standpoint.

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